:( :( :( :( :( :( :(

:(

I'm feeling real crabby, lousy and completely just down and out.

No I'm not excited about my 18th birthday anymore. Not after the handover...

Perhaps it's because I'm just feeling like a wreck for quite some time... Maybe it was the mid yrs or just some other event. Maybe I'm just drifting away from reality myself. I just don't know.

It was definitely the first time I felt sad that the seniors are leaving us in Band. Maybe it was because I had no love lost for the CHSSB seniors, or maybe my emotions were'nt so mature then. But it is now. And it's making me feel down. Especially the fact that I didn't treasure the last 7 months by just not giving my best somehow. I really don't know.

Or maybe because of the fact I couldn't get what I wanted in VJCSB. But I hope it's not going to affect me by tomorrow... I've got Band prac again for more events culminating in the College Day performance.

Mom's insistence on me shutting down this thing just makes it worse. I just needed some music to relax... they needed me to shut this down. I'm really really feeling like crap now. So just give me space to relax ya?

Never mind. No way I'll allow myself to spend the last 10 minutes of my 17th year on earth agonising on what might (not) have been. Or what I could have (not) done.

Let's hope tomorrow would be a real kickass day. There's PE, Chinese (hope I slaughter the Mid-year paper), Math tutorials, Wilf Owen and Band...

What a way to end your 17th year on Earth. Blah.

:(